At 36 with 5 children, I thought I knew a lot of things. But this weekend I was highly educated on one of the most well used (and most well loved) appliances in our house. My refrigerator. On Sunday (while Erik was on Meriter call…it figures) I open up my most gorgeous LG bottom freezer french door stainless steel, does everything but cook for me refrigerator and I smell a most horrific thing. Nope, not rotten food. Because food just does not have time to rot in my house. FIRE. I smell the distinct smell of something burning. So I start searching around the refrigerator and discover that the cover of my refrigerator lights is melting! MELTING! And it is HOT. So I do the responsible thing. FREAK OUT. And call LG. Only to find out that since I can’t find my “original” sales receipt…from 2 years ago (and who can when something in their house is BURNING), that they can’t help me.

So I say to the lady, “So what exactly am I supposed to do? I am afraid that my house is going to burn down if I don’t do something IMMEDIATELY”. “Jou need to remobe da Balls” she says. “The balls”? I ask. “Jes”, she says. “da Balls”. “What the hell are the balls”? I ask (yes, at this point I am kind of losing my temper). “The refrigerator light balls” she says.

Did you know that my refrigerator has balls? And that somehow I am supposed to figure out how to remove them? Wow. I honestly had no idea. No WONDER it was so freakin’ expensive. And no, it is Wednesday and I still haven’t heard what I am supposed to do. The store is trying to locate my original sales receipt. Because they purge their files after a year, apparently. And despite the fact that my refrigerator is obviously an LG…and it was their brand spankin’ new most awesomest model of 2006, they won’t help me. So I have duct tape on certain points of the refrigerator to keep it’s balls from turning on. And I wait…..

Here it is in better days: